Dreading It
by Little-Miss-Kitt
Summary: Chaos had defined Blake's entire existence. She'd never been fully in control of her own mind and actions. Now was no different. When Weiss gets some bad news, Blake's worst fear becomes reality and it might just spell the end of her and Weiss as friends, and RWBY as a team... (Cover art by DisneyDCFan/NameForsaken)
1. Sunset

The buzz of her scroll tore Blake from her book. She was only paying half of her attention to it anyway, the rest divvied up between keeping an ear out for her scroll and listening to the dorm room banter. Not that Blake particularly liked the dorm room banter right now.

Yang was boasting to her sister, downplaying the damage Neo did to her, telling the young redhead that the next time she meets Neo she's melting her down and donating her clothes to a children's charity. Blake couldn't believe it. Well, she could. Hence her exasperation and decision to merely tune out her best friend and partner rather than call her out on her bullshit. That and she wouldn't want to break Ruby's delusion that Yang was as fearless and awesome as she made herself out to be.

Breaking away from her book, memorising her place, Blake checked her scroll, noting how she had one new message from Sun. She opened it up, continuing a long running conversation with him, and promptly exhaled in false annoyance, rolling her eyes and letting her lips draw up into a smile.

 _Nep's demanding that Yang wingwoman for him if she ever drags him out to another club._

She glanced up at Yang, noting the bruise that was still shining on her back. As much as Blake wanted to believe that it'd be a while before Yang was doing anything too exciting, she knew it was a lie. Her partner didn't like being tethered or told what to do. If her wings were broken, she'd still try to fly. If they were clipped she'd still at least jump and hope for the best.

 _Done deal. But if Yang's winging for Nep, I'm winging for you._

Finished tapping out her message, Blake sent it away and put down her scroll once more. This time there was no break. Sun fired back a response before she could so much as reach for her latest novel.

 _Heh heh heh... Yeeeeeaaaah busy clubs aren't exactly my scene..._

Blake's smile grew devious. They weren't hers either. And if the tables were turned then she'd be just as much of a mess. But they weren't. And she was prepared to take full advantage of that fact.

 _Oh come, Sun. I can't be your wingwoman if your idea of a good time is a long walk on the beach. ;)_

Assumedly, given his lack of reply, her last response fried Sun's brain. Maybe she pushed it too far. But she didn't care. She had her book... and something about embarrassing Sun made her a little bit giddy. It quickly became apparent to her why Yang enjoyed doing that exact same thing so damn much.

Both the giddiness and book time proved short-lived however when the door opened and in stepped Weiss, looking – and sounding – flustered and desperate as all hell. "It's going to be a real tight fit though," she spoke down her scroll, voice pitched higher than usual. "I mean, we had to do away with half our things _anyway_ and there's now a dog running around..." Blake peered up from her book, concern shining in her eyes as she looked over Weiss, noting her tense body, hunched shoulders, set jaw, gritted teeth. She wasn't the only one to take notice as Yang looked away from Ruby.

"Scratch that: I'll donate _most_ of Neo's things to a children's charity. Weiss gets the parasol. She'd look hot twirling that thing around." Yang punctuated the remark by throwing a wink in Weiss' direction. Her forming grin immediately faded however at Weiss' lack of response and her motherly nature soon took over fully as she watched on, brow knitted, lips pressed into a line, listening in intently, taking in every inch of Weiss' wound up frame.

" _Of course_ I get that. The Vytal Festival is important to you. It's important to _everybody_. But tickets are expensive and you've got work to do and..." Weiss trailed off, likely cut off by the person on the other end. "Oh come on, you and I both know he could care less. He won't watch it. He'll get the results and then yell at me if I lose. And quite frankly I don't need that _and_ you're condescension." Weiss flinched immediately. Blake assumed that Weiss had just heard back her words, regretting ever having spoken them. "But-"

That ended up being her last word in the conversation. The person on the other end hung up and Weiss lowered her arm. Her eyes fluttered shut and she let out a defeated, guilty sigh as she fell back against the door and the scroll slipped from her grasp, clattering against the carpeted floor. She frowned and clenched her left fist while Yang quickly pardoned herself away from Ruby and closed the distance. Ruby followed regardless and Blake chose to merely observe, concern still radiating from her with the way she looked at the heiress.

Yang said nothing once she reached Weiss, instead opting to merely place a hand on Weiss' shoulder, catching her attention and letting her body language and expression speak for her.

"My sister's coming to visit..."

And just like that, Blake's world froze over; that simple answer to Yang's simple question instilling her with fear, petrifying her, paralysing her. She missed Ruby squeal about whether Winter was cool. She missed Yang ask if Winter was hot. She missed Ruby groan in disgust at her sister. She also missed Weiss telling them both to can it before shrugging away from Yang whom looked on apologetically, silently kicking herself for teasing her when all sense said to be supporting and understanding. She even missed the look Weiss gave her as she stomped over to her bed.

"What's _your_ problem?" the heiress spat at Blake, finally pulling her back to reality. She snapped her attention back up to Weiss, running a hand through her hair and pushing the locks back behind her ear.

"N-Nothing..." she responded weakly. Knowing where this was going, she chose the coward's way out. She turned over onto her side, forgetting her scroll entirely as it buzzed and threw aside her book, getting as comfy as possible, ready for sleep to take her. It'd cause more problems later but it'd prevent an argument now. And lo and behold, it did, Weiss scoffing in response to Blake and throwing out a single jab. One both girls knew Blake wasn't responding to.

"Here I was thinking you'd _finally_ gotten over all of this, Blake. Just realise that Winter is the _nice_ Schnee..."

What Weiss didn't know however was that Blake did respond - _internally_. She kicked herself again and again, burying herself beneath her blanket, burrowing into her pillow, trying to block out her thoughts. She _knew_ Winter was among the most supporting of Faunus equality. She knew Winter was kind and gentle and considerate.

The problem lay in the fact that Blake shouldn't have known those things. She shouldn't have ever met Winter. And Weiss could never find out that she had...

* * *

She shouldn't have been here. Not at fifteen. _No one_ should have _had_ to be here. But here Blake was, counting the beats of her pounding heart to keep herself sane. It was a distraction, real, something to focus on. Each thump against her ribcage another notch on her internal calculator. She shouldn't have been here but this was where she _had_ to be, crouched down in the overgrowth of the forest that surrounded the Schnee Mansion - in Atlas.

She had snuck through the streets without suspicion. And now she was here. This was actually happening. Adam had ordered her to assassinate the elder Schnee sister. And now she was here.

She'd be lying if she said no part of her wanted this. Adam had spelled it out clear as day. The Schnees were monsters – _all of them_. They mistreated Faunus. They used her species. From menial labour to dangerous work to stuff that humans were "too good", "too important", to do themselves, Humanity used and abused her kind. And the Schnees were the pinnacle of that abuse. _All of them._

The hope here was simple. Weiss was untouchable. She was their heiress, their treasure. There was no way even Adam could get close to her. She was far too important. And even then, killing her wouldn't change anything. They could find another heir. Hell maybe it'd just be Winter. Regardless, Weiss Schnee was not an option. So instead she was to target the woman responsible for her own security. Winter Schnee wasn't quite as important as Weiss. In fact she may very well have been expendable. But it would still strike a major blow. It'd hurt the parents. It'd hurt the CEO and his wife. But it would shatter the future of the company, Weiss Schnee.

 _But this is the only way..._

Taking a deep breath, Blake readied herself, seizing control of her heart, mind and body, and approached the estate. Words couldn't describe the sheer size of the Schnee Estate. The slum Blake grew up in was dwarfed by this. Still, Blake knew her way. Winter Schnee's room would be round the back, guarded by her own personal security. But first...

She pulled back her gun, Gambol Shroud's blade reflecting the silver light of the moon. She threw her arm forward, pulling the trigger and letting loose her kama. The blade danced over the wall, flying up toward a grand oak tree where the blade found purchase. Blake tugged on the ribbon and leapt, hauling herself over the wall toward the oak tree, aided by her Semblance and another suppressed gunshot.

Keeping out of sight proved a frightening experience. She could feel the tension, had to suffer through the suspense. Anxiety flooded her gut each time she had to judge the camera's sweeps perfectly. She couldn't let so much as a blade of grass look out of place. As the camera started turning away, Blake tip-toed out, breaking into a full sprint just as soon as she was sure the camera wouldn't pick her up. The guards were even tougher. Tripping an alarm would probably leave her the time needed to escape. Alerting a guard however, well she couldn't afford to cross so much as a single sword. And the patrol patterns, sight and hearing of the guards were all _a lot_ tougher to predict than the panning of the security cameras.

It took hours, patiently waiting in the shadows with bated breath, observing the way the guards moved, testing their hearing with minor rustles. It was maddening. But she counted the beats of her heart and kept a grip of herself. This was too important. She couldn't afford to get caught.

Eventually, Blake Belladonna dashed beneath the last camera, attached to the very corner of the mansion, scanning the immediate vicinity in front of her. The hard part was finally over. The Schnee personnel was over and done with. Now there was just Winter's.

The first had to go. He wasn't turning around or moving. He was just keeping his sights trained on the corner she was hid behind. She didn't fire. Instead she unhooked the blade, gripped the ribbon and twirled it, building up momentum. She knelt and cast her line, watching her blade skitter across the ground.

The guard noticed it but it was too late. The ribbon wrapped around his leg, Blake tugged, the guard fell to the floor and Blake launched herself forward with her shadow. Before long her boot met his arm, kicking away his scroll and preventing him from calling for assistance. Her hand clasped over his mouth, preventing him from squealing and her forearm pressed deep into his throat. She watched on, biting back several winces as the air was choked out of his lungs and he promptly passed out.

Rolling him into the bushes that lined the building, Blake continued onwards, knocking out one last guard before arriving beneath Winter Schnee's window. She gulped. This was it. Winter would be asleep. Her guard would be down; her Aura inactive in her unconscious state. She was helpless and vulnerable. Blake just had to get through the window; a feat easier done than said for someone like her.

Activating her Semblance, Blake felt her Aura gather en masse around her, a whirlwind of shadow gathering as her Aura burned a dark purple. She smiled and jumped. A clone formed beneath her and she leapt from it. Another one and she leapt from that. Then another and then another. And just like that, Blake was gripping onto the ledge that belonged to Winter Schnee's window. Tying herself in place, Blake found her balance and set about picking the lock, trusting in the blade of Gambol Shroud to hold her weight.

The lock proved more troublesome than expected but ultimately a window could only get so complex and soon a satisfying click announced Blake's success and she nudged the window open slowly.

Peering in, Blake noted that the only body present was the one hidden beneath the covers. She smiled. She was nearly home free. Dislodging Gambol Shroud, Blake swung herself through the window, ready to land with a practised silence. However that was her first – and last – mistake. To her dismay she heard a soft beep, and a sudden crash of ice. And just like that she was trapped, imprisoned. The tables had turned and now _she_ was the one who was helpless and vulnerable. She was caught, literally, in the devil's lair. And the devil had just woken up.

Shifting out of her covers, Winter revealed herself, and Blake found herself entranced. From the way her hair flowed freely when let loose, framing her face that held delicate features and beautiful blue eyes and full lips. The way her nightgown bared her shoulders and pronounced her generous bosom, flowing down tight against her clearly toned stomach. The way her curvy waist gave way to long, creamy legs, and all of it bolstered by a very slight layer of muscle. It quickly became clear to Blake that Winter Schnee was more than battle ready. And with that revelation, everything else clicked and Blake's mesmerisation was replaced with fear and panic. There was a reason Winter hadn't called her guards. And why Winter's security was so weak. _She didn't need them._

Each step she took in her lazy stroll over to Blake thrust another dagger into Blake's heart, quickening her breath, widening her eyes. She was scared. Terrified. Another step and Winter was mere inches away. She reached up and Blake flinched. The punishment never came. Though a part of her wished it had when Winter slipped away her mask, baring Blake's eyes and cheekbones. There was no hiding who she was now. Their eyes met, stunning Blake briefly as she watched on, frozen in panic and fear. Winter broke contact, glancing up at the bow that was folded over. She quickly grasped the ribbon, carefully undoing it, revealing a pair of cat ears, pressed against Blake's scalp and gave a simple hum.

She produced a red crystal, from where Blake did not know, and before long the ice that held her captive was gone and Winter was handing her Gambol Shroud. And taking a step backwards. And raising her arms as if in surrender. Blake was still paralysed but now it was out of confusion. What was Winter's game here? Was she challenging her? Daring her? Winter watched on, perfectly calm. Blake watched her, confusion boiling into offense and eventually a seething rage. She let it carry her forward as she lunged at Winter. Winter didn't fight back. Blake slammed into her and both fell back onto Winter's bed, Blake on top of her, her blade biting into Winter's throat. She was still perfectly calm, watching, waiting. The next move was _still_ Blake's...

So why couldn't she make it?

Her arm shook, her teeth gritted, a growl escaped her throat, her eyes threatened to water. Here she had her target, pinned beneath her, helpless, waiting. One cut, one slip of her wrist, and Winter Schnee would be history and she could escape back to Adam and continue her life, her duty. So why couldn't she do it? She had to kill before. She had to deal with the nightmares twice already. She hadn't yet managed to cope but killing Winter would change nothing. She was already haunted, guilty, and irredeemable. What would Winter's life matter?

But she couldn't. She couldn't fight herself. She couldn't defeat her conscience. Not this time. And rather than make the cut, Blake lifted the blade, just enough so Winter could no longer feel the cold of its steel against her delicate skin. "Why did you free me?" she asked, demanded. "Where are the guards? What do you get out of this? Why are you letting me do this?" Blake's voice strained, cracked. She didn't understand any of this. None of it made sense.

"Tell me, Faunus," Winter responded coolly, zero trace of anything behind the word. It was just the only identifier she had for the girl. "What do you actually know of me?

Blake stuttered, caught off guard by Winter's counter question. "I-I..." She cleared her throat, regaining her composure, trying, failing, to glare down at the older woman. "You're the daughter of a Schnee."

"Not by choice."

Blake hesitated again, once more her guard shattered. Winter... didn't choose to be a Schnee... _Choice_. Blake didn't have one either. That became brutally clear a couple of years ago when Adam handed her a sword and told her to try and strike him down. She was a soldier now. Most Faunus refused to believe. They would not support her, Adam or their comrades, in the war that _had_ to happen. She _had_ to fight this. _She_ had to do this. She had to cease equality; for herself, for Adam, and for their people...

"Would you want your entire species to be defined by the actions of your White Fang?" Winter asked, and Blake was rendered speechless.

 _Of course not..._

"Me neither. I hate my father. I hate the SDC. They're corrupt, immoral, and driven by greed. Equality can't exist so long as the SDC remains as it is now."

Blake couldn't believe what she was hearing. A Schnee... was denouncing her own legacy? A Schnee... hated her father, her family? A Schnee... _wanted Faunus equality?_

"But equality also can't exist so long as your people fight damage with damage. We've wronged you. We've hurt you. It's not fair. We're guilty. But bloodying your hands? Wronging us? Hurting us? Maybe it is fair. But you're _still_ guilty."

The Fang were... _wrong_? It was obvious they were hurting humanity. That was their intention. Blake's hands were bloody as well. And Adam made no effort to hide the fact that they were monsters. In fact the masks they wore were symbolic of their guilt and sin. But... _wrong_? Was it really wrong when there was no other way? How could this be the _wrong_ way when it was the _only_ way?

It was all too confusing. It couldn't be wrong. If this was wrong then everything they had done, the families Adam had destroyed, the lives she had taken, the havoc wreaked by her brothers and sisters… all of it… for nothing...

She shook her head. She wouldn't let Winter's words confuse her anymore. She had to stop this spiral of conflict and despair. She pressed her blade back into Winter's neck. "Answer my questions..." The words carried an air of finality but it wouldn't have needed someone like Winter to see it as the glass facade it was. Still, she gave Blake what she wanted.

"I let you go because I respect you. Even if I don't agree with the methodology, the cause, _your cause_ , is commendable – honourable even." Blake merely grunted, not trusting herself to do anything but. "My guards aren't even on standby," Winter continued. "You could kill me now and escape – if you really wanted to." Blake this time responded with nothing, her incredulous blinks and raised eyebrows telling Winter all she needed to know.

"I get nothing out of this. Not unless you listen to me." Blake raised a brow quizzically. "I only want a chance to speak, Faunus. To perhaps change the fate of tonight." Blake tensed atop the older girl and Winter winced a little, regretting her choice of words. "As for this…" She glanced down toward the sword resting against her throat. "It's because I'm not scared." That literally took Blake aback. She leaned away, unconsciously moving her blade slightly further away from Winter's flesh.

"What?"

The answer to that came easy to Winter. She simply had to be honest.

"I trust you to do what's right. That's all."

Blake opened her mouth to retort only to find herself absent words. Her head lowered, eyes now inadvertently locked onto Winter's stomach as she considered... _everything_ she had heard tonight. Finally her eyes closed and she let out a heavy breath, praying that this wouldn't end in yet another betrayal. Lifting away Gambol Shroud she promptly threw it to the ground where it clattered before she rolled off of Winter, shifting over to the end of the bed and curling her knees up to her chest, hugging them close.

Winter took a few moments to straighten up before she slowly, cautiously, edged closer to her should-be assassin, wrapping her arms around her and pulling her close. She could feel the Faunus beneath her trembling, her breath unsteady. If that wasn't enough, Blake was sniffling, on the verge of tears.

"Stop being so nice," she begged, pleaded, her voice broken and her eyes threatening to overflow. "Stop being so cryptic. Stop being so, so, SO DIFFERENT!" she could barely keep her shout muffled as her breath hitched and she sniffled again. "Adam told me, _he told me_. He said you were _bad_ , that you were _all_ bad. That humans would only ever hurt the Faunus unless we – _unless I_ – did something about it... STOP PROVING HIM WRONG!"

That last part came out a shrill screech and even Winter had to pray that no one had heard it. "But Adam _is_ wrong..." It was Winter's first heartfelt response. She hugged Blake closer, regretting that she had to be the one to deliver such a cold, hard truth to the younger girl. "Tell me, Fau-"

"Blake..." she managed to correct, choking out her own name among her sobbing. Winter smiled, taking to rubbing Blake's right bicep gently as she cuddled against her.

"Tell me, Blake, how much has changed in the last four years?" Blake got her crying under control and looked up at Winter. Her eyes told the older women that she had no answer. In fact it would seem realisation had just dawned. "How have you been coping with what you've done?"

Blake wiped away the tears, swallowing to moisten her now dry and hoarse throat. "I haven't. I-I... I sometimes have nightmares..."

Winter's response at first was to simply hug her closer. Blake snuggled into her chest, drying her cheeks on Winter's nightgown while Winter placed her head atop Blake's. "What would you be if given a choice?" she followed up and Blake, the adrenaline still circling her system, continued to shake in her embrace, her breath still out of control. She hugged Winter tighter.

"I just want to be accepted... I want to be seen for who I am a-and and accepted." She hiccupped, continuing to sniffle as she came down from her brief explosion of emotion. "I don't want to hurt them. I don't want to hurt _anybody_!" Winter could feel Blake's grasping hands clench into fists around her nightgown. "I want to protect people. I want to protect and cherish, not just Faunus but _everybody_! I want to change things b-but but..." She trailed off, her voice somehow growing sadder, more painful. "But I don't know how..."

Meanwhile, Winter stared out into the moonlight vacuum of her room, absorbing Blake's babbles. "Blake..." she paused for a moment, waiting on the youngster to give a small hum of acknowledgement before continuing. "Have you ever asked yourself exactly how _you_ see this violence bringing about change?"

"I..."

It was at that moment that Blake realised she had no answer. All she could be was honest. She wasn't sure why she was so. But something about Winter made her trust in her. She was warm, welcoming, kind, gentle. For some reason she trusted the Schnee. She felt like she could tell her anything and that everything would be okay. She could admit she had killed two people. She could admit that maybe everything about her right now was just all wrong... And nothing bad would happen. And so it was without hesitation that she found her voice and gave her response.

"Never... It was easier to just let Adam think for me."

"Why?"

It was the only question Winter had asked that wasn't intentional. Blake had genuinely caught her off-guard with that response and her tongue slipped. Not that Blake herself had planned it. She answered it straight away, not even thinking about the question or its repercussions.

"He was like a big brother to me, Winter. He saved me, gave me a home, a family. He fed me, trained me. When I woke up screaming, terrified, he was there for me. When I didn't think I could bear the world a moment longer, he held me close and promised everything would be okay..." A pang of pain shot through Blake's heart at that. "Adam was my hero... He always sounded so brave and resolute..." It was at this point Blake finally stopped, considering her next words carefully. "Adam had _never_ been wrong before. I trusted him _completely_. I'd have followed him to the ends of the earth and I did just that. B-Because... Because if not even he knows the right path then... then..." Winter could feel the impending storm, she prepared for it. Blake's trail off, the lump that shot down her throat, the way her lip quivered and she clutched tighter still, her knuckles bone white. "Then..."

The dam broke. Blake's sobs began anew, tears flooding down her cheeks as a single realisation dawned in.

 _Everything_ had been for _nothing..._

Winter leaned in closer, cuddling further into her, letting her press her face against her chest and cry herself dry. She kissed between Blake's cat ears and ran a hand through her onyx locks before pulling her down onto the bed. Blake meanwhile only continued to weep, letting Winter guide her as she lost all control of her emotions.

Nearly an hour later and Blake, teary-eyed and red-faced, finally looked up at Winter. The older girl looked down at her warmly, lovingly, and flashed half a comforting smile before speaking. "Equality doesn't come from violence, Blake." Blake offered no rebuttal. "And it doesn't come from standing by either..." Blake's silence continued, the Faunus listening intently, clinging to the Schnee's every last word. "It comes from action."

"The Faunus can't just be polite and expect humanity not to walk all over them. We all learned that the hard way with the original White Fang. But they also can't just attack and expect humanity to be bullied into changing their very nature." Still nothing from the Faunus curled up in her arms, looking up at her expectantly, desperately. "More humans just need to see more Faunus as heroes. The best thing you can do, Blake, is find your own way, carve your own legacy."

Winter paused. This being the first time she truly chose her words carefully.

"I don't know if you can leave the Fang. I won't tell or even ask you too. But if you want to change things then you're gonna have to start by doing _exactly_ that..."

With that, Winter kissed Blake's forehead and Blake pushed away, sitting up on her knees, wiping her eyes. "I _can't_..." She looked away ashamed. "I can't leave Adam behind, Winter. I depend on him entirely. And I'm _all_ he has left in the world... I..." Blake paused, biting back yet more tears, not wanting to succumb to her own frustration and despair _yet again_. "I'm sorry. I... I'm too _afraid_... I-I... I can't do alone what my entire family has failed to do united! H-How can I do that? How can I change _anything_ on my own!?"

Winter didn't hide the clear disappointment that flashed across her features. No. Not disappointment. It was sadness. Pity. She pitied Blake. She also turned away. "I understand..." There was a pause. "But Blake?"

"Yeah?"

"Do remember one thing..."

Blake waited patiently, listening.

"Remember that there _is_ another way - a _better_ way. A way in which you can sleep at night..."

With that, Winter shifted, leaning over to her bedside table where she grabbed a scroll, throwing it over to Blake who caught it in a startled struggle, awoken from the reverie Winter's last few words had once again induced. She looked down at it quizzically, then back up at Winter for answers. "Give that to this 'Adam'. It's important enough to sate him but not more important than your life..."

"I..." Blake looked back down at the device before clutching it to her chest, hugging it close. She had failed her mission. She had failed her partner, her family, her cause. She'd never failed them before. And didn't want to find out the consequences. "Th-Thank you..."

"Just be safe, okay?"

Winter's voice was soft, laced with care and concern. The tone soothed Blake, ignited a flame in her stomach. She felt... safe…

She felt _accepted_.

Tears welled up once more; tears of happiness and relief and gratitude. "Promise."

And with that, Blake leapt back out of the window, disappearing into the night from which she came…

* * *

 **Author's Note:** **Hey guys, so a lot of you might be wondering where I've been - or a lot of you are wondering who I am. Either way, check out my profile because this fanfic isn't about me. First of all, the Winter portrait that serves as Dreading It's cover art belongs to an amazing friend of mine who goes by NameForsaken on FF. They're a writer first and foremost and you should totally check out their stories. I hope you enjoyed this little exploration of my headcanon. I know I enjoyed writing it. If you did then stay tuned, there's more to come.**


	2. Nightfall

Disorientation met Blake the next morning. One minute she was reflecting on her past with Winter, swallowed by her fears. The next exhaustion had consumed her and she was waking up to the sun streaming through the still-open curtains, illuminating the dorm and assaulting her sensitive eyes. She cringed away, turning over and squeezing her eyes shut to block out the offending light. She didn't open them again until after letting out a yawn, at which point Weiss' sleeping form opposite came into view. And suddenly everything flooded back in.

Blake had once tried to kill Winter – _Weiss' sister_ – with the _specific intention of breaking Weiss_ so that the heiress would run the company she was set to inherit into the ground. That was then. But that night, so much changed. Winter's outlook on life proved to be every bit as idealistic as Blake's had once been. The woman was a fool to trust a Fang member with her life. And Blake had learned recently that the path she had chosen – the one Winter told her to go down – was, at present, a dead end. Blake had no idea what to do with her life right now. She still had no idea how to fix... _everything_...

But despite that, Winter had saved Blake from herself, from Adam, from the horror that was now the White Fang – her family. And Blake was grateful. Just thinking about it warmed her heart. Time had since proven that Winter wasn't the only human like that. Ruby, Yang, Pyrrha, Jaune and over time Weiss each showed those exact same traits, that mentality. But she was the first. Before Yang saved her, Winter did. Before Ruby reminded her of the fragments of her former self, Winter did. Before Weiss denounced the SDC, Winter did. And Blake had never been able to forget.

And now... And now Weiss was her friend. She had a family, personal ambitions, hope; it wasn't everything she wanted in life, but it was more than enough to make her happy. But could Weiss - _would Weiss_ \- ever forgive her for that assassination attempt? Blake hadn't even told her she was the one behind the train heist.

She was just... so terrified. She didn't want Weiss to find out. She didn't want Weiss to hate her. She didn't want RWBY to crumble. She just...

 _What do I want? To turn back the clocks?_

She paused in her train of thought, taking in exactly what going back and not making an attempt on Winter's life entailed – perhaps what leaving the Fang five years ago entailed. She didn't want to turn back the clock. She wanted those memories, double-edged as they might have been. She wanted to cherish them; just like she wanted to cherish Yang and Weiss and Ruby and all her friends at Beacon. And just like how she couldn't – refused to – let go of Adam.

Letting out a sigh, Blake threw off her covers and stood up, shrugging out of her yukata as quietly as possible so as not to wake Weiss. She didn't bother checking in on Ruby or Yang. They could sleep through hurricanes, volcanoes and earthquakes – and that damn siren that sounded during the breach. Ruby was undoubtedly drooling on incomplete homework she had fallen asleep doing while Yang, on the other hand, was undoubtedly a mess of limbs and hair.

Grabbing for her usual attire, she began to slip on each layer, finishing with her bow. She didn't bother with makeup nor did she give a damn about her hair. All that mattered was getting out, getting away. It was cowardly, pathetic. But she just didn't want any of the next few days to happen. Well, that wasn't actually true. She did want Winter to visit. She wanted that a lot. She didn't know why, couldn't quite find any way to describe the way seeing Winter again made her feel. But she definitely wanted to.

She just didn't want yet another secret from her past, yet _another_ one of _her_ mistakes rending her team, her life, and her team's lives, in two.

And for now, running away kept that from happening. And that was why she couldn't be around when her team woke up – especially Weiss.

Finally dressed, Blake gazed down at the sleeping Weiss, noting her position. Like Blake, she had turned to face the wall and curled into a foetal position before her stress just drained the consciousness right out of her. A twitch of guilt and sadness hit the Faunus before quickly swelling up. She swallowed a lump and looked away.

"Sorry..."

And with that, Blake left everyone and everything behind and fled once more, ignoring her buzzing scroll and continuing on to the library. Her own personal fortress of solitude where she could drown in her thoughts and hopefully stop damaging everything she held close to her heart.

Blake's scroll buzzed two more times before she reached the library. The third finally caught her wrath as she pulled out her scroll, noticed the text from Sun, and promptly switched her scroll off before dropping it down on the most obscured desk in the farthest corner of the library.

Collapsing down on the chair, Blake released a heavy, stressed sigh and threaded her fingers through her hair, just about ready to pull it all out if the niggling concerns that dominated her mind didn't disappear. She took a moment to lament the situation, cursing herself and her situation over and over again with the phrases "what have I done?" and "why do I keep doing this?" frequently slipping from her tongue.

Finally, once she felt her hands clench into fists, grasping at her hair, Blake decided she needed a distraction. She was going to hurt herself at this rate, and that was a sure fire to have every dirty secret that might shatter Weiss' faith in her spill out into the open.

She chose the White Fang as that distraction, reasoning that the fight was far from over. Roman was imprisoned, yes, but he was just a pawn. There still remained an army out there, generals, and a picture bigger than even Blake had originally thought. And no one could even so much as begin to comprehend any of it.

She looked over the data again and again, amber eyes scanning the SDC inventory, the pattern of Dust robberies, the bombs, the personnel involved, Mountain Glenn. Initially, Blake had thought, hoped, that maybe the White Fang were just hiring out rank and file goons in return for something. That this whole ordeal would die with Roman's capture. But with the White Fang Lieutenant making an appearance, with Roman's speech at the rally, with the fact that the White Fang were literally the sole force behind the breach, that wasn't the case. The White Fang weren't in this for resources or money. They were in this for the results.

But Blake just couldn't piece any of it together; especially not today when Weiss and Winter were all she could think think. When the only reason she was shaking her head was to try and rid it off thoughts unbidden. Finally, Blake gave in; falling forward until her elbows dug into the tabletop and her head fell into her hands – on the verge of tears but refusing to cry.

 _I didn't want this... I didn't want any of this..._

She had tried so hard to stop exactly this from happening. She chose to seek out Yang not only because she trusted her, not only because of the minor traces of Winter that were clearly present in Yang, but because partnering with Yang meant she absolutely would not be partnered with Weiss.

That _was_ the plan. But Blake had never been good with those. So when she had let Yang pick their chess piece, she spared no thought to the fact that there were two of each or that they would be in teams of four. Not realising these things, she also didn't bother to think about the sibling bond between Yang and Ruby that might have incidentally led to Ruby picking the exact same piece as her sister. Nor did she consider the idea that Ruby had met Weiss. And that Ruby was nice and kind and adorable, and that there was no way in hell Ruby was giving up on being Weiss' friend...

After Initiation it was signed and sealed, a done deal. Blake Belladonna would be teammates with Weiss Schnee for four years straight. And just like that, her hopes to just move on from her past with the Schnees and the Fang were shattered.

Of course, nothing was ever _that_ simple. Blake had grown dependent on Adam for a reason. She had grown dependent on Winter for a reason. And there were reasons as to why Blake grew dependent upon each and every member of her team. For Adam, it was as she said to Winter. He was her guardian. He fed her, clothed her, comforted her, trained her, defended her, guided her... He was everything she needed at her lowest point and then some. For Winter, while their first encounter may have been ill-fated, it also changed her life forever. Winter had saved her from going too far – from following Adam and becoming a monster. And that was just for starters.

Months passed by following her encounter with Winter. Months of conflict, questions, sin, and regret. No matter how much she tried to ignore it, she couldn't deny that Winter had been right. Adam was a monster. The White Fang had changed – and not for the better. They were hurting humanity but it wasn't bringing them any closer to equality. Blake had committed atrocities she'd never forgive herself for. She'd even taken a third life since her attempt on Winter's. And all she seemed to get in return was praise and promotion.

 _Praise and promotion._

They had been _congratulating_ her, _encouraging_ her, _rewarding_ her. Every crime she committed, every life she had taken, every family she had hurt, and building she had damaged. Everything she did that she didn't want to do, that should never have started happening in the first place. They were treating it all like Blake had been doing something _good_.

But all of that praise did nothing for Blake. She was empty, hollow – guilty. She had no delusions and no excuses. She, like Adam, like the rest of her family, was destroying any hope the Faunus had of ever finding a peaceful resolution with Humankind. She was a _monster_ , they _all_ were, and that's all they'd ever be. They weren't heroes. There was no crime for the greater good. This was the exact opposite. And that became brutally clear when Adam chose her, just her, for the train heist.

The simple fact that she was his first choice only brought everything to the surface. All it meant was that Blake had become _very_ efficient, so much so that she was all Adam needed. He trusted her. He trusted that she could have his back in a fight. He trusted that she could kill at the call of her name. He trusted that she wouldn't flinch if Adam had to take a life himself. He trusted that her morals were buried six feet deep - just like his. And that sickened her.

The second he left, she just sat down, looked out at the beautiful forest and considered how much evil lurked within it. She looked to the sky, coloured pink by forces she couldn't even understand, and couldn't help but notice that there was _nothing_ there. Just a void of colour with the Moon lost within it – and not even that was whole.

Nature itself had no purpose. The sky was an empty void. The Moon was fractured and segmented. The forest was full of death and destruction. The _only_ thing united were the Grimm – and they seemed intent on tearing mankind's very existence in two. And then there was Dust, a tool of destruction, a weapon of war. Blake didn't know if there was a God out there. But if there was, they were cruel. If there was, they were just as maniacal and destructive as the beings they placed upon their world. Nature was empty, divided, and destructive – it's only unity coming hand in hand with its own destruction. The same could be said for the Faunus... for Humankind... and for Blake...

That realisation sucked all colour out of her world. She'd have cried if there was anything to cry about. But there wasn't. Not to her. And when Adam returned, and called her name, Blake offered all she could: Acknowledgement.

"Okay," she said, and then turned her gaze away from the wounded, abysmal, tragically beautiful world, and followed Adam's lead.

The next few minutes of Blake's life were among her most empty yet thrilling. She and Adam drifted down the side of a cliff, leaped off, landed on a moving train, 'infiltrated' and then took on a squadron of robots. It was wrong. It was _all_ wrong. And Blake hated every last minute of it. Every robot she destroyed, every time she and Adam had each other's backs and what few words she exchanged with him, all of it felt like a poison in her system, eating away at her from within.

But at the same time, something about fighting lit up her world. Something about all of this brought her back to life, for even a few moments. Here she was, risking her life, fighting for it. Doing things that most people wouldn't dare. And while she was doing it for all the wrong reasons, something told Blake that, if those reasons changed, if her outlook changed, if she could find something in the world she could fight and actually be seen as the hero, then she'd be happy.

Then those moments passed...

Adam led her to the first train car and the sheer volume of Schnee crates dropped her jaw. Her partner checked the contents, verifying that, yes, they were indeed stood in front of enough Dust to level at least one quadrant of Vale. And the White Fang were stealing every last bit of it... or so Blake thought until Adam announced for her to start clearing the way to the next car while he _set the charges._ What little feeling she still had disappeared – replaced with an aching hole in her chest and a sense of complete numbness.

"But what about the crew members?" she asked, her voice straining.

"What about them?" he replied, and the facade shattered.

It wasn't like Blake was expecting Adam to change on the spot. The second he announced he was planning on setting the charges, Blake knew that nothing she _said_ would stop that from happening. Adam wasn't blind. Adam was _meticulous_. He was calculated and determined. His resolve was _absolute_. He _knew_ he'd cause so much destruction by blowing the train. He knew the crew members would die. As would who knows how many civilians if Adam detonated close to - or worse, _in -_ the city. Adam _knew_ that. He just didn't care. In fact, if anything, Adam had _planned_ on it.

Blake's mind wasn't allowed to whir for too long however - and not actually because Adam didn't stand for hesitation. No, rather than Adam forcing Blake out of her reverie and frightening her more than his mere presence and frame of mind had been for the last few months, it was an Atlesian Mech - a Spider Droid to be precise. Yet another weapon of war, designed with the sole purpose of destruction. And given the fact it was on the train rather than inside the forest, the Grimm were _not_ its designated target.

What followed was a fight without colour. Blake was distracted, empty, and horrified. She made mistakes, almost died, Adam saved her life, and the droid blasted both of them through a wall and onto the next train car before giving chase. Her world remained black and white throughout. It wasn't until Adam asked her to buy him some time that a flicker of colour returned.

"Are you sure?" was her response, and it was a genuine question. Despite everything, Adam _still_ mattered to her. He was _still_ her first friend, her guardian, her teacher, her partner. Adam was _still_ everything to her. And she didn't know if anything could change that. And that was why, when Adam demanded that she go ahead with the plan, Blake obeyed. She took the fight to the Spider and, this time, colour bled back in. The thrill returned, this time the thrill of fighting to defend someone she deeply cared about. And then she retreated, and Adam stepped up.

She didn't watch as Adam devastated the machine. She had never been able to – something about that attack made Adam sadistic, power hungry, and downright terrifying. Instead, Blake made a decision that would change everyone and everything she had ever known. She moved on up to the next train car, and slashed through the caboose – but not before giving her partner one last, genuinely sorrowful, goodbye.

Adam's car slowed to a stop but Blake's continued onwards, the distance between them increasing with each passing second. And slowly but surely, Blake found colour returning to her world – as if the weight of who she was being had lifted. As if she had found the antidote.

But Blake's journey was far from over.

She had escaped chaos only to find herself embroiled in yet more. The relief of finally leaving the White Fang came with stress and fear. She didn't let herself sleep in the days that followed, refusing to let her guard down, too terrified of Adam, of the Fang, of them finding her, dragging her back, punishing her...

And while she wouldn't admit it, she felt guilty. She knew how much she meant to him – just as much as he meant to her. And she knew she had hurt him. A lot. And it wasn't like she came out unscathed either. The few times exhaustion had claimed her, forcing her into slumber, it was transient. Just as soon as she closed her eyes, _he_ entered her mind. She had wonderful dreams and horrifying nightmares. And she didn't know which was worse. She woke up in a cold sweat from both.

However, in recent days, Blake had been filled with purpose. For the first time in months her life had meaning. She cared about what she was doing. She scratched and clawed for the first time in her life for something _she_ wanted. After leaving Adam, she had decided to journey to Atlas. In fact she'd spent the only Lien she had on the journey over, sleeping rough, starving day in and day out, and even bathing in a lake one night to ensure she'd be able to afford the flight.

And now here she was, making her way through the streets of the cold and grey city of war, minimising exposure by weaving through alleys and bounding across the city skylines, ducking through buildings and woods. And before she knew it, she found herself in front of the Schnee mansion.

She glanced up, her eyelids heavy from the sleep she'd deprived herself of. There was no way she could do what she did then in her current state. That much didn't escape her. No part of her journey so far was done recklessly. She wouldn't fall at the last hurdle - refused to. And so she resolved, admittedly with great reluctance and fear, to find a little cavern and try to get some sleep.

By the time she finally lay down, fatigue claimed her and she immediately passed out – exhausted from the days that had led up to tonight and from both the search for an obscured alcove and the meticulous scouting to ensure that the immediate vicinity, and then some, were clear of everything from Grimm to humans to the Fang. She even used Gambol Shroud as a makeshift tripwire alarm system by threading the ribbon through the trigger guard and tying it between two rocks so even the slightest bit of pressure would trigger a gunshot. The sheath meanwhile lay within arm's reach.

As luck would have it, no one, and perhaps most importantly no _thing_ , managed to find its way into her temporary abode. The same however could not be said for her dreams, and Blake soon found herself waking up to the dark of night in a far too familiar cold sweat. She took it as miracle enough that Adam had been kind enough to give her at least a few hours rest before invading her subconscious and, after letting out a yawn, reached for her sheath and took down her trap. With Gambol Shroud – the only thing she had left in the world – in hand, Blake headed out, tracing her steps back through the forest and returning to the gates of the Schnee Mansion.

Despite the time that had passed since Blake's last visit, the patrols themselves hadn't changed. While it made sense to a degree for the main force, after all the Schnee family as a whole had no idea their patrol routes and cameras were compromised, it only showed further naiveté and foolishness on Winter's end. What if Blake had went back and, meaningfully or not, let slip Winter's little ice trap? Or what if after Blake's unsuccessful attempt where she was "forced to retreat", they sent someone else to do the job? Blake didn't mind though. That naiveté just reminded her of herself before she freely gave up her own freedom to fight for that of her species.

Before long, Blake had crossed the estate's courtyard, taken down the two guards, and assailed the mansion wall. She expertly picked the lock in no time at all, and edged the window open. Despite knowing of Winter's ice trap, she still stepped through, knowing her fate. The flash freeze triggered and Blake, once again, found herself imprisoned in a veil of ice. And once again, Winter awoke but did not call her guards.

Rising from beneath the covers, she glanced over toward her intruder, immediately recognising Blake who shone in the moonlight, her ice prison glimmering. She also recognised far too many signs of stress and living rough, from her heavy eyes, the dark shadows that lay beneath them, her tousled hair and the dirt that clung to her shoulders, face, neck and outfit. She immediately rushed over, her eyes wide and concern deep in her breast before freeing the Faunus.

"Why did you set it off?" she asked incredulously, worry straining her tone as she used Red Dust to once more release Blake who stumbled forward, surprised by the sudden lack of support. Winter caught her and Blake shivered. Now was her chance. She was with Winter. She had made it. Now all she had to do was take control of her life and ask Winter to help her become a huntress.

"It's because I'm not scared, Winter. I-I trust you." Her voice began to crack. She didn't intend on it. She wanted to take control, to be strong. But now here she was, alone, safe, with Winter. And that safety, that solitude, that single comforting thought, melted away all her defences, her strength, and everything came flooding back in. "You'd never turn me in..." Her voice broke and her breath hitched as she clung tightly to the older woman, tears threatening to break free. "...Or away..." She bit down, hard, on the inside of her cheek, nuzzling into her, squeezing her eyes shut, refusing to cry. "N-Not now..."

And then the dam broke. Tears flooded from Blake as she wailed into the night. Her knuckles white as she grasped at Winter's nightgown, nails threatening to damage the fabric. Winter could feel the familiar warmth of her tears as they wet her shoulder and she wrapped her arms around Blake's quivering form as the sounds of sobs and broken breath filled the room.

"Please. You can't."

Lacing her fingers through Blake's hair, Winter fell back onto her bed, pulling the distraught teen into her lap, hushing her all the while. "Relax, Blake, it's okay, everything's okay. No one's turning you in." Blake's pleas, begs and sobs continued to pour and Winter pulled away slightly, cupping Blake's cheeks and forcing eye contact. "Blake look at me." She didn't. She just looked away, continuing to sob. "Look at me!" her voice was a worried shout, Winter losing control as she forced Blake to once more meet her eyes. "You're safe!"

Blake's eyes were wide with fear, her cheeks stained and her lip quivering, the shock of Winter actually _shouting_ at her halting her cries. "I... You're safe, Blake. I promise." She pulled her close once more, cradling Blake's head against her breast. "You can trust me. I won't let anything happen to you." She quickly undid Blake's bow and kissed between her ears, nuzzling the furry appendages affectionately. "I won't. I promise."

For minutes they remained like that, Blake's cries now a low whimper as she shook desperately in Winter's lap, hugging the girl close and taking comfort in the elder's mere presence. Winter for her part remained quiet, letting her calm, even breaths serve as the backdrop for Blake's whimpers. Eventually, Blake broke away, her emotions back under control. She spent a few more moments evening her breath and re-discovering her confidence and purpose before she shifted away, leaving Winter's lap and taking a seat next to her on the satin duvet.

What followed was... everything. Blake told her everything. She told her about how she'd not been able to stop thinking about Winter's words since their last encounter. How Adam had only gotten worse and worse, his barbarism seemingly without limit. How he targeted _everyone_ \- even the poor innocents whom had done nothing wrong.

"I'm scared, Winter," she admitted. "I ran from them, from the Fang. I-I don't even know if they're coming after me. Or what they'll do if they ever find me." Winter just listened. She had no words, no answers. She couldn't even begin to address such concerns. "I-I've not slept for days. Without Adam I've barely been able to eat and bathe. I just left my _entire_ life behind and it might be chasing me and it might drag me back or make me wish I never had it in the first place! And I... I'm scared. And I need help. And..."

Blake's breath began to betray her once again, all the usual signs of Blake's weakness, of her emotional wreckage, returning. Winter shushed her, hugged her, pulled her onto the bed, embraced her. No more words were spoken that night as Winter simply hummed an old lullaby, and Blake fell asleep in welcoming, wonderful arms.

The night passed undisturbed. There were no dreams, and no nightmares. Adam might as well have never existed. Winter didn't sleep. She didn't let herself - couldn't. She needed to be up before dawn to awaken Blake and talk to her before her regrettably personal servant came to wake her up and discovered a Faunus in her bed.

Her father knew of her sexuality. Her father knew of how she supported the Faunus. Her father let her stay in the house to keep up appearances. Her father made her work for the SDC to keep up appearances. But there was no way her father would tolerate her being in a lesbian relationship with a Faunus. He couldn't let something like that get out. His disgrace of a daughter would make a disgrace of the company – of his legacy. And he couldn't have that...

Plus Blake was in way too much of a state. She couldn't lie to save her life right now. So she waited. And waited. She held Blake, smiling at the peaceful slumber the girl seemed to be in. She continued waiting, hour after hour as the stars disappeared and the sun peeked over the horizon. She shook Blake gently, waking up the poor, lost 16 year old girl, and smiled down at her.

"Morning. Sleep well?"

Blake seemed hummed in acknowledgement before stopping herself, gasping in surprise. She had indeed slept well. And it was the first time in as long as she could remember. More importantly however, it was the first – and only – night since leaving the Fang that Adam hadn't dragged her kicking and screaming from her painful subconscious. She sat up, gazing around the room in absolute shock. She had literally just slept in the devil's lair, and it was the most blissful, invigorating night's sleep she'd had in a long, _long_ time.

Even the thought of Winter's family discovering her didn't scare Blake. She was too alive and rested. Adam failed to trouble her, too. The only thing that mattered to Blake was Blake. And...

 _Winter..._

"You clearly didn't..." she finally spoke, glancing over to Winter and taking in her tired expression. Winter only smiled and waved her off.

"You're not the only one who worries," she reminded the youngster nonchalantly as she headed over to her pursue. "There's a Faunus in the Schnee mansion who, for the longest time, was a part of the most wanted organisation in the world. Dammit, where is it..." She broke off from her speech, sifting through her purse before she finally found a business card and some Lien. "There we are. But worse than that," she began as she paced back over to Blake. "She's in my bed, my arms."

Blake couldn't help but blush as she took the offered cards, averting her gaze. "Wh-What's this?" she asked, changing the subject and glancing back toward the older - now grinning – woman, sheepishly.

"Just a small coffee shop," she answered. "Nothing fancy, but it'll do you a nice breakfast, and I can meet up with you there just as soon as the dictator's dealt with." She flashed a smile and Blake laughed. And she couldn't actually believe that. She had just laughed at the expense of the President of the Schnee Dust Company, and because of his _daughter_ no less.

Quickly recovering, Blake nodded firmly. "Thank you."

"Not needed. Now get going. I'll meet you there soon."

But that was the problem. Blake didn't actually want to leave. No, instead Blake wanted, more than anything, to stay with Winter. She wanted to stay in her bed, in her arms. She wanted to go back to sleep while the demons were away. But she knew better than that. She was stronger than that.

Getting up, Blake took a few moments to brush herself down and glanced in the mirror on the far wall, snatching a baby wipe to quickly clean her face. Content that she at least didn't look like a complete wreck, Blake headed on out, Winter's promise to meet her soon fresh in her mind. Her lips curved up, a genuine, full smile adorning her features as just a few warm rays breached the overcast sky.

 **Author's Note:** **And that's two. We are, tentatively at least, half-way there. Let me know what you think so far. Do you like my headcanon of Winter - and hers and Blake's past? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.**


End file.
